A special thanks for contributors from the SCA Heralds, especially Alanna, for the following.

Graecum est; non potest legi (it is Greek, it cannot be read)

I have learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
- James Rhinehart

Art is work, to sell it is art.

If our gifts are not surrendered to God, we tend to beat people over the head with them.

In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; in all things, charity.
- Melanchthon

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

A good school is a community where children learn to live first and foremost as children and not as future adults.

Never confuse having a career with having a life.

You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.
- Leo Aikman

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs.
- Dutch Proverb

Ketterling's Law: Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.
- Confucius

Me against my brother, my brother and me against the tribe, the tribe and me against the world.
- Arabic proverb

The deeper you go into the forest, the more things there are to eat your horse.

Proverbs are like butterflies; some are caught, some fly away.

A fool can ask more questions than ten wise men can answer.

There's no stopping time or fools.

"It is not the same to talk of bulls as to be in the bull ring."
- Spanish

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

The best way out is always through.
- Robert Frost

Don't waste cherries on pigs or advice on fools.
- Irish

When it is dark enough, men see the stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.

LIFE ... is a bitch. And it just keeps having puppies.

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.

I have been a stranger in a strange land.
- Bible, Exodus 2:22

Don't look back something may be gaining on you.
-Satchel Paige

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
- Bill Cosby

Never give a sword to a man that can't dance.
- Bushido Maxim

It isn't procrastination if you put it off right away.

God made the cat so that man might have the pleasure of caressing the tiger.
- Ferdinand Mery

"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin."
- Mother Teresa

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Decadence is its own reward.
- Tivar Moondragon

"However, some circumstantial evidence is compelling, as when you find a trout in the milk pail."-- Mark Twain

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
-Dan Quayle

Winners are not those who never fail, but those who never quit.

War doesn't determine who's right, only who's left.

Just because the cat has kittens in the oven doesn't make them biscuits.

God grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference... ~ AMEN ~

If Ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

The palest ink is better than the best memory.
-Chinese

Nothing is foolproof - to a sufficiently talented fool.

He who sups with the devil has need of a long spoon.
-English

Anyone who knows all the answers most likely misunderstood the questions.

Nothing is impossible for those who don't have to do it.

If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?

Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Fear of giants.... Fee-fie-fo-bia

The real act of discovery is not in finding new lands, but in seeing with new eyes.
- Marcel Proust

With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason so few engage in it.
- Henry Ford

Clock: A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.

Experience is often what you get when you were expecting something else.

A prudent man does not make the goat his gardener. - Hungarian

There can never be too many chocolate chips. - Although there *can* be too little cookie dough.
-Tivor Moondragon

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with arrows.

Kinky: using a feather. Perverted: using the chicken.

In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

He who has daughters is always a shepherd.
- Spanish

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
- Mark Twain

System analysis is the process of finding exactly the right wrench to pound in the required screw.

A room without books is like a body without a soul.
- Cicero

He who asks feels foolish for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
- Chinese

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Love enters a man through his eyes, woman through her ears. - Polish

Heroes and winners aren't the same thing.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
-Arthur C. Clarke

If God had meant for me to vote, he'd have given me real candidates to choose from.

There is no truth to the rumor that {computer company} is suing {computer company} for copying the look and feel of their lawsuits.

It's better to ask some of the questions than to know all the answers.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet. - African

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. - A Contrived Reduction Of Nouns, Yielding Mnemonics.

A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.

Don't anthropomorphize computers. They don't like it.

Drive like hell and you're bound to get there.

Those not ruled by the rudder will be ruled by the rocks.
- Welsh

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.

Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

God gives every bird its food, but he doesn't throw it into its nest.

Another Month Ends; All Targets Met; All Systems Working; All Customers Satisfied; All Staff Eager and Enthusiastic; All Pigs Fed and Ready to fly.

Never parry with your face.
- Tivar Moondragon

When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby.
- Nigerian

When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.

You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
- Irish

Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it.
- Gene Spafford of Purdue University

The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between the lightning and the lightning bug.
- Mark Twain

Sooner or later, everyone stops smoking.

When your enemy falls, don't rejoice -- but don't pick him up either.
- Yiddish

The tongue is more to be feared than the sword. - Japanese

It wasn't me! A monkey sat at my keyboard and typed one key per second for five years until he got this!

No one can predict to what heights you can soar. Even you will not know until you spread your wings.

Discord, the Goddess of the Net, is developing a taste for blood sacrifice.

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.
- Spanish

"It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving."
- Mother Teresa

Lawyers: the larval form of Politicians.

History is a selective interpretation of events designed to justify those currently in power. Memory is the same thing on an individual scale.

If you don't know history, you don't know anything. You're a leaf that doesn't know it's part of a tree. -Michael Crighton, Timeline

I could never finish anything but now I...

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