Khevron's Tagline Page

Khevron (Don's) Tagline Page

Don's Tagline Collection VI

I started gathering tag-lines (one or two liners at the end of a posted message or e-mail) in 1993 off of WWIVnet when I was a co-sysop on "the Green Door" BBS. I don't necessarily believe or adhere to the words herein, but I thought them funny. There's a lot, so happy reading!
Oh, I tried to give credit to authors, etc. My own are marked with -DG. SW is Steven Wright, BA is Blackadder. If you know the author and I haven't credit him/her, let me know!
Don't fall out of your chair...

"Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a tagline." Dr. McCoy

"How to Budget Your Money" by I.R.S.

"I'm Beverly." "I'm Geordi." "We are Hugh."

"My arm!", said Captain Hook offhandedly.

#include [mandatory_cute_tagline]

*I* didn't do it, the *computer* did it!

:) :D :O :( :[ ;) 8) B) :> |I :P =) :S :B :] :\

`:-| "Fascinating, Captain!" - Spock

4 yers ago I cudnt spel vise prezidant; now I are won!"

A clean, neat, desk is a sign of a sick mind.

A flashlight is a case in which to carry dead batteries.

A fool and his money are soon partying!!

A good organizer is the one who is careful to plan ahe

A well-crafted tagline is a joy forever.

A wok is what you throw at a wabbit.

AAcckk!! II''mm iinn hhaallff dduupplleexx

And God said: E = mv - Ze/r, and there was light!

And on the seventh day, God said, "It's Miller time!"

And then Adam said, "What's a headache?"

Apathy Error: Don't bother striking any key.

Are dog biscuits made from collie flour.

ASCII and ye shall receive.

At last, a tagline of my own....

Barfignugen: Carsickness in a Volkswagen.

Baroque: (def.) When you are out of Monet!

BBSing is like sex, except you don't want to come off.

Become a programmer and never see the world!!

Beep! Invalid Input. I take only cash....

Before, I cudnt spel programmer; now, I are one.

Beware! I'm armed and have premenstrual tension.

Bill Gates: For whom the belle toils! :)

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Bo knows the moderator

Boldly going forward because we simply can't find reverse

Braniff ran OS/2.

BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding.

But Honey, you NEED VGA for Dbase management!

But I !!WANT!! the two in the bush...

But I thought YOU did the backups...

But Ma, Johnny has all of his doors registerd!

C code. C code run. Run code, run.

Can I call you Ms. Dos?

Cereal Killer Strikes Again! Cap'n Crunch found dead...

Chain tagline! Copy or bad luck will follow!

Choosy modemers choose GIF

COBOL: Completely Obsolete Boring Old Language

Coming soon: Netware for Nintendo

Coming to a TV soon, "Days of Our Modems"

Contrary to popular opinion, God's last name isn't Damn

Crime wouldn't pay if the Government ran it!

Dan Quayle: A real Mr. potatoe head.

DANGER DANGER Computer store ahead...hide wallet.

del Banquo.* del damnspot.*

Denial: Not just a river in Egypt

Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.

DisneyLand: A people trap operated by a mouse.

Do witches run spell checkers?

Documentation...The stuff you wipe up coffee with.

Don't be sexist. Broads hate that.

Don't pick up that phon9" NO CARRIER

DOS is just an operating system that runs Windows 3.1

Drive A: format failed, formatting C: instead.

Earn cash in your spare time... blackmail your friends.

Elvis has left the tagline.

Elvis has logged off.

Error 216: Tagline out of paper

. Error in Alaska; problem in FLOW CONTROL -EXXon\EXXoff.

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.


Everything that is not mandatory is forbidden.

Excuse me, can you spare a tagline?

Excuse me, I have to recharge my flamethrower.

Fer sell cheep: IBM spel chekker. Wurks grate.

Find Jesus? I didn't know he was lost. Try under the sofa

For once I'm at a loss for words. Mark down the date!

Gentlemen: Start your debuggers...

God is real unless declared integer

God isn't dead, he just couldn't find a parking place.

Golden Rule: She who has the gold makes the rules.

grep..grep..grep... (Frog w/UNIX stuck in throat)

Happiness is your favorite program moving to Windows

Hey! Who uncorked my bottle of lunch?

Hey! Your Trakball is upside down!

Hi, I'm Chip. Micro Chip. Eight-o-three-eighty-six!

How do you know it's summer in Seattle? The rain's warmer

Hugh today, Borg tomorrow...

I admit I wrote in COBOL once, but I didn't compile

I believe in The Divine Right of SysOps.

I didn't wake up grouchy... I let her sleep.

I drive way too fast to worry what foods will kill me!!

I give you the 15 oi, ...10, TEN Commandments for all to obey!

I just got stopped by the LAPD and boy am I beat!

I know a good tag line when I steal one

I like to leave messages *before* the beep.

I see.... and UNIX is an operating system, is it? HAH!!

I speak only for myself, not for any others!!!

I tried OS/2 once, but I didn't inhale.

I tried to drown my problems but they can swim.

I used to have a life, then I got an HST !

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out

I was bown in a cwossfiwe huwwicane-Jumpin J. Fudd

I was kicked out of the boy scouts for eating a brownie....!

I'm happiest when someone else is doing the cooking.

I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am.

I'm not schizophrenic, I'm "multi-faceted"

I'm sure it's clearly explained in the DOC's

I've got 256K of RAM, so why can't I run Windows 3.1?

I've had BETA days ... and nights!!!

If Einstein Had Been Black It would be E=MC Hammer

If Jesus was Jewish, why does he have a Mexican name?

If money talks, Being a SysOp is pretty quiet!

If the enemy is in range ... so are you!!!

If you can't find it anywhere else, It ain't here either !!

Imprisoned in .QWK file! Send the ZIP army!

Innuendo: an Italian suppository.

Iraqi rifle for sale. Never fired. Dropped once.

IRS: Income Reduction Service.

It's not me, my computer is illeterate.

Jesus saves, but the IRS gets .

Jesus saves, passes to Moses; shoots, HE SCORES!!!

Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.

Kill it before it sucks the chrome off.

Lawyers: the larval form of Politicians.

Life ain't easy for a Borg named Hugh.

Life is sexually transmitted and terminal.

Load EXXON.SYS to screw up your environment

Lookout World! The Modem is Ringing!

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

LOTUS - Let Only The Users Suffer

Luxuriantly hand-crafted of only the finest ASCII.

Misbehaving witches are sent to their broom closet.

Most GUI's I've seen are pretty gooey

Multitasking = screwing up several things at once.

My computer NEVER loc

My major advisor is Dr. Lechter.

My tagline is in the shop. This is a loaner.

My Twit Filter just put me on its Twit List!

Never judge a man by his taglines.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely.

Never test for an error you don't know how to handle.

No man is an island if he is on even one mailing list.

No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard.

No, I'm NOT an Extended Character.

Noah saved animals from the flood by arcing them!

Nothing in the universe travels faster than a bad check

Now on CD ROM, classic taglines of the computer era.

OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to be eccentric.

Ok, now for a quick backu^L+b&2PO^1+=.

Okay, I pulled the pin. Now what? Where are you going?

On think we can't use the option 'FILE ENCLOSURE'

Only two things are universal; Hydrogen and Stupidity.

OS/2 That's half an operating system...?

OS/2: Upgrades are free. Who would PAY for it anyway?

OS2 from the people who brought you the System 34/36/38

Perot/Bush/Quayle: The Milionaire, the Skipper & Gilligan

Please wait... Sysop has exited to DOS...

Positive: Wrong at the top of your voice

Quick, call a Witch Doctor. My witch is sick!

Reader not found..., please notify tagline.

Real programmers use COPY CON: PROGNAME.EXE

Renegade Tagline!! We're tired of Being Kidnapped!!!

Saddam Hussein still has his job. Do you?

Seattle Rain Festival - Jan. 1 to Dec. 31

Sex (n.): Bags used for the storage of potatoes.

Shin - Device for finding furniture in the dark.

Silly wabbit, QWKs are for kids.

Since I've used up my sick leave, I'm calling in dead.

Six megs, two monitors, and an attitude

So Many Messages!.............So Little Time!

Software Independent: Won't work with ANY software.

Success comes in a can. Failure comes in a can not.

Sure, when... OINK FLAP OINK FLAP... Well I'll be damned!

Synonym: word you use when you can't spell the other one.

Sysoping: Not just an adventure, it's a job..

SYSTEM ERROR: press F13 to continue...

Tag-line thievery..Comin' up next on

Tagline shortage. Please help recycle taglines. line freedom of speech!

Thank you for holding your breath while I smoke.

The dog ate my .REP packet.

The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades!

The number you have reached is not in service !

The UART's won't take this speed, Captain

The universe is laughing behind your back.

Thesaurus: Ancient reptile with excellent vocabulary.

This is all a modem-induced hallucination.

This looks like it is working. Great

This message has been reviewed by The Censor(tm).

This product cruelly tested on defenseless furry animals.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's tagline

To discover one knows nothing is the beginning of wisdom.

Took an hour to bury the cat. Silly thing kept moving.

Transfer aborted (again)(ha ha ha ha!!)...

Twisted mind? No, just bent in several strategic places

Ultimate office automation: networked coffee machines.

UNIX: Operating system for the vowel impaired.

Users: Keep them dry and don't feed them after midnight.

Visa, Visa, Viso -> I shopped, I shopped, I ran out of

Vodka + milk of magnesia: Philips screwdriver

Wanted: Programmers. Some assembly required.

Wavishing wench wanted to welease Woderick-apply within

We accept Visa, MasterCard, AmEx, and Mariah Carey .GIFs

We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing.

To Khevron's first Tagline Page

To Khevron's Previous Tagline Page

To Khevron's next Tagline Page

Back to Khevron's Main Page