Khevron's Tagline Page 2

Khevron (Don's) Tagline Page

Don's Tagline Collection II (1993-4)

I started gathering tag-lines (one or two liners at the end of a posted message or e-mail) in 1993 off of WWIVnet when I was a co-sysop on "the Green Door" BBS. I don't necessarily believe or adhere to the words herein, but I thought them funny. There's a lot, so happy reading!
Oh, I tried to give credit to authors, etc. My own are marked with -DG. SW is Steven Wright, BA is Blackadder. If you know the author and I haven't credit him/her, let me know!

It's tagline time already, is it?

Despite the rising cost of living, it still remains popular!

Any certainty is a delusion

Tardis express: when it absolutely, positively has to be there last week.

Damnit Wesley! Get your feet off the console!

I am Bart of Borg. Prepare to eat my shorts, man.

MS DOS Perot Boot it and see if it'll run or not.

If you've seen one, you've seen 'em both.

Old age isn't bad when you consider the alternative.

Math and alcohol don't mix, so don't drink and derive.

Blind people don't bungee jump 'cus it scares the dog.

Socialist w/knife & fork seeks capitalist w/food.

Operation halted. Star Trek's on!

Support your local medical Examiner. Die strangely

Limit Congress to 2 terms. 1 in Congress and 1 in Jail.

Barium: What you do if CPR fails.

Oxymoron. Legal Brief.

MODEM: Monumentally Expensive Data Eating Machine.

Old Lawyers never die, they just rest their cases.

Mental floss prevents moral decay.

You summoned a WHAT with the Necronomicon?!

It's an honor to meet you. The are so few true fools.

ELEPHANT: A mouse built to Government specs.

Clap on , Clap off, &*#^@ NO CARRIER

"Fate... protects fools, children, and ships named Enterprise"

BAD COMMAND OR FILENAME Go stand in the corner.

[Ice bounces off Enterprise shields] "Sir, we are being hailed..."

Oxymoron: Ferengi Generosity

Lost: Small Poodle, reward. neutered. Like one of the family.

"I'm Bored." "You're smart enough to be bored?"

Borg and the women who love them. On the next Oprah.

What if they gave an orgy and nobody came?

A duel of wits? To the death?

BORG Fleet

More Oxymoron's: Free Love, Jumbo Shrimp, Freezer Burn

NCC 1701-D. Not your father's Oldsmobile

ODO called, he'll be over after he changes.

Oxymoron: Bajoran Patience

Cap'n Crunch was found dead in his apartment this morning. Police think it's the work of a cereal killer.

Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I haven't lost my mind... it's backed up on tape somewhere!

If "Q" were castrated, would he be known as "O"?

The Marx brothers on acid: Speed Schtick

File Not Found - Should I fake it? [Y,N]

Ignorance can be cured, Stupidity is forever.

A BORG? I don't see&^^#@% NO CARRIER

As easy as 3.1415926535897932384626433...

I shouldn't have taken that left turn at Alber-you know where.

If at first you don't succceed, then skydiving isn't for you.

I don't have a life, I have a BBS.

Oh, sorry ODO, I didn't know you slept in the blender!

"Press to Test" "Release to detonate"

Which version of the truth would you prefer today?

Gravity isn't my fault! I voted for velcro!

Worf - "You may now give birth"

I bought a cured ham. I wonder what it had.

If at first you don't succeed, call it 1.0

Where are we going, and why are we in this hand-basket?

Cthulhu for president. Vote for the lesser of two evils.

Everything's better, with bubonic on it. -DG

Kinky Assimilation Techniques, on the next Geraldo of Borg!

RAM: Rarely Adequate Memory

Nixon of Borg, "I am not an assimilator!"

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Borgy: Friday night Party at the Collective.

Your Proctologist called, he's found your head.

"Maya and Odo sitting in a tree M-I-N-G-L-I-N-G...

Support Search and Rescue... Get Lost!

No, Why?... Have YOU ever snorted Laser Printer Toner?

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Is it a real cat or does it come to you when you call it?

Worf: "Captain, why not just give the BORG Windows 3.1?"

The Electric Chair Choice: Regular or Extra Crispy

"We are Hugh. Beverly will be assimilated. Hubba, Hubba!"

Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my disk?

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

Tasha Yar: "I was expendable, I was stupid, I went."

A cult is a religion with no political power.

"You HIT me! Picard never hit me." - Q

Chastity. The most unnatural of the sexual perversions. (A. Huxley)

(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with a large hammer

"You Klingon sons. You've killed my bastard!", indecisive? I don't think I am, do you?

Freedom of religion includes freedom from religion.

Use super glue on your hard drive. Stop fragmentation before it begins!

Why do I hang around a sadist? me.

Hope you can walk on water, cause you're on thin ice now.

A feature is a bug with seniority!

If ignorance isn't bliss, I don't know what is.

A seminar on Time Travel is scheduled to be held 2 weeks ago.

What size bribe should I offer a corrupt file?

Speak softly and carry a fully charged phaser.

What's this fur? I stole it. I got nothin' to hide...

Vampire punster - "Fangs for your support" -DG

Suicide is illegal only if you do it quick.

Yugo driver at light: "Pardon me, would you have any... mayonnaise?"

You're so thin you can't get the automatic doors to open at the supermarket.

My country is the world, and my religion is to do good. - T. Paine

Clinton inhaled, Bush sucked.

Nothing fails like prayer.

Anyone who believes in telekinesis, raise my hand.

Lucy, you have some 'splainin' to do!

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful,
Hate me because you're bitter and misguided!

...And Noah said: "Build a WHAT!"

If the human brain is like a computer, does that mean slow people are running windows?

... Not another schrubbery!"

Why are elves chaotic? ...brownian motion

I don't have an attitude, People are just annoying!

Dr. McCoy & Faith No More: "Surprise! You're dead Jim!"

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye!

Terror. (n.) 1. A female Klingon with P.M.S.


I would've been a preacher, but my ethics are too high!

New mail not found. Start Whine/Pout sequence? [Y,N]

Politics is a promising career

Ask not for whom the bell tolls. Let the machine get it!

"Farfrompoopin" - German word for constipation

Whaddya mean "Hard points aren't available on a Camaro"!

Subspace Communications. The next best thing to beaming there.

Mister Speaker, My esteemed colleague is full of shit.

Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again.

One's man's theology is another man's belly laugh.

Rub her feet

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

We may eventually come to realize that chastity is no more a virtue than malnutrition.

In Alaska, you don't lose your woman, you lose your turn.

If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.

Monotheism is a gift from the gods.

Religion and Porn seem to have something in common. Sometime you may have to swallow something that, if you stop to think about it, is disgusting!

"The Anchorage Fish Wrapper and Litterbox liner press"

(A)bort, (R)etry, (S)ue

May all those who go to don armour tomorrow remember to "go" BEFORE they don armour tomorrow. -Prince Edmund Blackadder

Why does my JFK Postage Stamp taste like a jelly donut?

I have seen the future, and I cannot afford it.

"Oh! Don't Grovel, I hate when people Grovel" "Sorry." "And don't Apologise! Every time I try to talk to someone it's 'Sorry this, and Forgive me that, and I'm not worthy'. What are you doing now?" "I'm averting my eyes oh Lord." "Well don't. It's like those miserable Psalms, they're sooo depressing. Now knock it off!"

Fear the government that fears your gun.

His mind is not for rent to any God or government...

Line up! It's time for your Karmic backlash.

Help, I'm modeming and I can't hang up!

License Parents, not guns!

Self employed Couch Potato, are you? -DG

An unbreakable toy is useful in breaking other toys.

Which came first: a) Fire b) the Wheel c)300 baud

If Marcel Marceau falls in the woods and nobody is there to hear it, does he make a sound?

All great truths began as blasphemies

I thought about being born again, but my Mother refused.

Empty cans make the most noise. Same goes for heads.

Economist: Econo=Budgetary, Mist=Haze before the eyes -DG

Car phone answering machine- "Hi, I'm at home now, but if you'd like to leave a message, I'll return your call as soon as I go out." SW

Time is just nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bou... Hey, don't touch me! - DG

Age isn't important unless you're a cheese.

The worst thing about censorship is *$^#)% of the *(#^@!#**$ !

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Obscenity is anything that gives the judge an erection

An intelligent dyslexic is smucking fart.

Join the Pangean Re-unification Front

The Devil made me do it and I wanna do it again!

First, listen to sermon, THEN eat missionary!

The continuing voyages of the Starchip Enterkey<>

But how fast is that in Furlongs per Fortnight?

I distinctly remember forgetting that. - (C. Barton)

Without your space helmet, Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult.

Digitally remumbled for stereo inaudibility

Space is not warped, it's BENT!

*/ \* -Tribble Sword Fight

Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich. -D. Duck

Black Adder, Black Adder, a bit like Robin Hood.
Black Adder, Black Adder, but nothing like as good.

May your skin turn and orange hew, and may your head fall off at an awkward moment. BA

This day has been a mighty stew, inwhich the beef of victory was mixed with the vile turnip of King Richard slain, and the grisley dumpling of his killer fled. But we must eat the yellow wobbley parts.
In life, each man gets what he deserves.
Allright. Let's go kill more prisoners. - King Richard IV (BA)

And don't think it hasn't been a little slice of Heaven...
...because it hasn't! -B. Bunny

I think, Therefore, I am, I think...

...and I said, "Uh, oh, this is going to be some day..." -L. Anderson

"Unfortunately, other than my nose getting a little prettier, nothing much has changed around here. Lord Percy still doen't have a job, your animal still isn't house-trained, and Nursey's still one stick short of a bundle." - Queenie, Blackadder II

"Kate. Isn't that sort of a girl's name?" - Edmund
"Oh. Well it's short for um... Bob." - Kate
-Blackadder II

"I have a friend that would like to eat, er I mean, meet you..."

See Jane sick Spot on Dick. See Dick run. Better get the penicillin. DG

Worst thing ever spoken on '60's TV: "Ward, weren't you a little hard on "the Beaver" last night?"

"This looks like a job for "Duck Dodgers in the 24 century!"" -D. Duck

"Heh, ...Mechanical." "SO IT'S MECHANICAL!!!" -B Bunny

Vegetarians eats vegetables. Beware of humanitarians!

Do not look into laser with remaining eyeball.

To Khevron's first Tagline Page

To Khevron's next Tagline Page

Back to Khevron's Main Page