Don's Tagline Collection V (1995)
I started gathering tag-lines (one or two liners at the end of a posted message or e-mail) in 1993 off of WWIVnet when I was a co-sysop on "the Green Door" BBS. I don't necessarily believe or adhere to the words herein, but I thought them funny. There's a lot, so happy reading!
Oh, I tried to give credit to authors, etc. My own are marked with -DG. SW is Steven Wright, BA is Blackadder. If you know the author and I haven't credit him/her, let me know!
Don't fall out of your chair...
This country ain't nothing but miles and miles of nothing but miles and miles. - Al-Can Highway Construction soldier - 1942
And there were plagues of locusts, frogs, MS-DOS, and MS Windows....
Farflungnoodle: A sneeze while eating spaghetti.
"Liberty cannot be preserved without a general knowledge among the people." - John Adams
"The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be either good or evil." - Hannah Arendt
"Not to engage in this pursuit of ideas is to live like ants instead of like men." - Mortimer J. Adler
"Every great scientific truth goes through three states: First, people say it conflicts with the Bible; next, they say it has been discovered before; lastly, they say they always believed it." -- Louis Agassiz
"Perfection of moral virtue does not wholly take away the passions, but regulates them." -- St. Thomas Aquinas
"The Church of Rome has made it an article of faith that no man can be saved out of their church, and all other religious sects approach this dreadful opinion in proportion to their ignorance, and the influence of ignorant or wicked priests." -- John Adams
No, thanks... That's against even MY religion -DG
You're listening to KPLA, Klingon radio: All Glory, All the Time!
Let me know what you all think. Yay, Nay, or "Could Be"...
Tagline Tag! Your IT!!!
Resistence is, frankly, quite annoying. Stop it already!
He's DEAD, Jim! But he's a Vulcan, he'll snap out of it!
McCOY- "That green blooded, son of a bitch."
KIRK: Nobody listens unless you swear every other word.
A man will tell his bartender things he'll never tell his doctor.
Photons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic.
"I am more and more convinced that man is a dangerous creature; and that power, whether vested in many or a few, is ever grasping, and like the grave, cries, `Give, give!" - Abigail Adams
"Ladies And Gentlemen, Our Army, Let's Wind Up The Troops!"
If you had a deep thought, you'd get the bends.
"I am a Doctor Mr. Neelix, not a decorator." -The Doctor
" Bill.. Bill, I can multitask. Just quit poking me in the brain like that!"
"And I thought I wasn't going to like him." -Odo to Quark
Paramedics save lives, EMT's save Paramedics.
Taglines are for wimps!
There will be prayer in school as long as there are math tests.
In God We Trust; All others we voice verify
"Baldrick, do you know what "Ironey" is?"
"Yeah, it's like Goldie and Bronzey, only it's made of Iron". -Baldric
Would you like some cheese to go with that whine?
"Apple" (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton
"Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt"
"Hex Dump" - Where Witches put used Curses?
"I drank WHAT? -Socrates
"I'll be Bach" - Johann Sebastian Schwarzenneger
"Maytag" is my middle name; I'm an agitator.
Sysop, Plaque fighter...and general nice guy...or something, huh..huh
I think I think, but I'm not sure. -Liz
"Data, give me a reading."
"It appears to be a tagline."
"The intention makes the crime." -- Aristotle
A statesman is a dead politician. We need more statesmen.
When I met Mrs. Right, I didn't know her first name was Always!
Guts: Putting the moderator in your twit filter.
"Chaos often breeds life when order breeds habit." -- Henry Adams
I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker... -S. Miller
"A friend in power is a friend lost." -- Henry Adams
I'm Tom Baker of Borg: Care to assimilate a jelly baby?
The best way to accelerate a Mac is at -9.8 m/sý
Wanted - sombody to pay me to do what I want!
I wouldn't belong to a club that would have me as a member. G.Marx
Lucid dreaming: The poor man's virtual reality.
"And why...why do little blue midgets hit me with fish?"
The great aim of education is not knowledge, but action.
Religion can never reform mankind because religion is slavery.
There's No Blood Thicker Than Ink -- U2
So's yer old yeoman!
"You're just like your father... So human!" -Saavik
"There is no possible source of evil except good." -- St. Augustine
"Lying is forbidden even for the salvation of heretics." -- St. Augustine
"The Captain is... Missing. It seems I'm aboard the Voyage of the Damned. - The Doctor
Set a new course, there's COFFEE in that nebula! - Janeway
"What's a Fin"? - Kim "I dunno, some old form of Scandinavian currency." -Paris
Janeway to Neelix: "Dismissed. ...That's a Starfleet expression for 'Get Out'."
There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow, there's Klingons on the starboard bow, Scrape them off Jim!
All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
Christians aren't perfect, just stupid.
"We are always making God our accomplice, that so we may legalize our own iniquities." -- Henri Frederic Amiel
How can I be over-drawn?! You still have a pencil left.
I'm a default macro, CHANGE ME.
"Faith is not wishing to know what is true." - Nietzsche
Never say "I'm game!" at a meeting of the NRA.
"He who stands for nothing will fall for anything." - Malcolm X
At ease, Mr. Kim, before you sprain something. -Janeway
"Out here in the Delta Quadrant, old tricks are brand new." -Chokotay "Voyager"
"Necessity has no law." -- St. Augustine
"The law is not made for the just, but for the unjust."
-- St. Ambrose
"God considered not action, but the spirit of the action. It is the intention, not the deed, wherein the merit or praise of the doer consists." -- Peter Abelard
Kira, Kira...you've torn your dress! Kira, Kira..YOUR FACE IS A MESS!!
"He was a man, all and all, I shall not look upon his like again."
We came, we saw, but we didn't interfere...StarFleet
"Unthinking men are like sleepwalkers." -- Hannah Arendt
"Even the gods cannot change history." -- Agathon
Hot, Bothered, and feeling all around uncomfortable!
Kill the Men. Kill the Elves
Keep the Gold For ourselves! - Dwarven War Chant
Stop the Madness!!! Tap-tap-tap-tap. I'm bored. Start the Madness!!!
Announcer: IS THIS THE END OF BUGS BUNNY?
WILL HE BE DASHED TO BITS ON THE ROCKS BELOW?
Bugs -Will he be rendered non-compos mentus?
Merr, He don't know me very well. Do he?
The Good Intentions Paving Co. "We did the road to hell!"
I am Pentium of Borg. Division is futile! You will be approximated!
Cthulhu awakens in 24 hours. Have a nice day.
And then she asked if I had change for a cat!
PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals
Kill now, speak with dead later...
Captain's Log, Stardate 36-24-36...
Data: "We will have to ignite the midnight petroleum".
Q: "What must I do to convince you people?"
"Things are only impossible until they're not."
The Score- Alaska Raptors: 3, Domestic Dogs: 0. -Nori
Floss 'em if ya got'em!
I Ingorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
When All Else Fails, manipulate the data
What am I doing out of bed?
I'm not having hot flashes, I'm having Power Surges!
Change is good, but Dollar's are better!
If you can read this, thank a teacher
Copyright 1637 Pagan. All Rites Reserved
"...this would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it." -- John Adams
"Even the gods cannot change history." -- Agathon
Question #8: Write an answer: Is the answer box too small to write an answer? 
...and then comes the oral sex! -Zoot's twin sister
"Don't take life too seriously, it's only temporary."
"Logic can justify anything, that's it power, and it's flaw." Captain Janeway
I am Maxwell Smart of Borg. You missed assimilation by THAT much!
Reality-ometer: [\........] Hmmph! Thought so...
Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity.
We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing.
"42? 7 and a half million years and all you can come up with is 42?!"
¯I'm Fred Flinstone of Borg: Prepare to be yabbadabbassimilated!
Odo-burger: it's a burger! it's a shake! it's fries!
"It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them." -- Alfred Adler
"Whether it wants to or not, the Church consolidates and establishes injustice.
It helps men to forget their ills instead of curing them." -- Raymond Aron
Remember, when you find yourself arguing with a fool, he is doing the same.
A fool and his money are soon modeming....
"Such, my angels, is the role of Trek in history!": K. Hepburn Janeway
Mmmmmm! A problem with grammar have I, yes! -- Yoda
Do as I say, and I will be your slave.
Umemployed Intellectual: Will act like a pompous ass for food.
THIS.....IS AN EX------PARROT!!!!!!! -Cleese
Anything given in the mega-doses they give to rats will cause cancer in humans!
All of us have a bit of the vampire and a bit of the nightingale *Tori Amos
STOP! Don't adopt this tag til you've used the others!
I aim to please, and shoot to kill.
If at first you don't succeed, try plastic explosives.
Why do I understand you so much better when I lose all contact with reality?
A Ferret is God's way of telling you NOTHING is child-proof!
As cement poured on the novelist's grave, the plot thickened.
The Large Print giveth, the small print taketh away. -Tom Waits
My God, it's full of stars! -D. Bowman
The Three States of Matter are: Wackiness, Dogmatism, and Perversity.
Indian Bumpersticker: We Gave An Inch, They Took 3,000 Miles!
Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
My boss is tempermental: 50% Temper, 50% Mental
I KNEW IT! It's Monday, cleverly disguised as Tuesday!
Candygram for Mongo!
Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!
Fire is not the only heat, Lord Schweitzer. You know where I sleep. - Freya
If ignorance were cornflakes, You'd be the "General Mills of Stupidity"!
Multitasking: Locking up more than one application at a time.
When I was young, we had to carve our CPU's out of wood!
King Kong died for your sins.
Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is only New Jersey.
"Well, it's so clean, sir."
"It's certainly uncontaminated with cheese!"
"SHUT UP! ...Bloody Vikings! You can't have Spam, Egg, Sausage and Spam without the SPAM!"
"I DON"T LIKE SPAM!!!"
People with opinions go around bothering each other.
Mankind will never be free until the last King is hung with the guts of the last priest. (Voltaire)
It's much better that they say "There he went" than "There he lay".
We're from the Govenment, and we're here to help you
Fine: Tax on doing wrong. Tax: Fine on doing right.
Writing to Washington won't help. He's dead.
Sign in dyslexics yard: Beware of God
Lottery: Stupidity Tax
You don't know the facts until you've seen the fiction...
A cannibal passed his brother in the jungle.
. . . was about as funny as a seasick sailor with lockjaw . . .
All that Was, and All that Will Be, Is.
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? It depends on the tune.
Insert inevitable trivial witicism of your choice
Bakers do it for the dough.
Fools rush in where fools have been before.
I'm so completely open-minded on the issue that I'll even listen to your fantastically stupid, idiotic opinion.
To avoid duplication, make three copies.
Do not disturb...genius at werk.
It's called "Take Home" pay because you can't afford to go anywhere else with it.
Success is relative; The greater the success, the more relatives.
Anyone can be a winner...unless, of course, there's a second entry.
The slower you work, the fewer mistakes you make.
If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.
If at first you succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
You must have learned from others' mistakes. You haven't had time to think all those up yourself.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Never do your very best; It leaves no room for improvement.
People like criticism...just keep it positive and flattering.
It's OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.
Worry kills more people than work because more people worry than work.
Alt-H gives you SysOp access !!!!!!!
Mark Spitz...Greg Swallows
"The Kzin smelled our fear..."
"The Kzinti smell everyone's fear."
Define the universe. Give three examples.