Don's Tagline Collection III (1993-4)
I started gathering tag-lines (one or two liners at the end of a posted message or e-mail) in 1993 off of WWIVnet when I was a co-sysop on "the Green Door" BBS. I don't necessarily believe or adhere to the words herein, but I thought them funny. There's a lot, so happy reading!
Oh, I tried to give credit to authors, etc. My own are marked with -DG. SW is Steven Wright, BA is Blackadder. If you know the author and I haven't credit him/her, let me know!
Percy, your brain would make a grain of sand look large and ungainly. -BAII
"...he'd laugh at... those people with the funny faces and the bells...?"
"...no, no... ah. Lepers." -Queenie and Melchett, BAII
You don't have to talk in that "stupid voice" to me, I'm not a tourist! -BAII
Am I pleased to see you or did I put a canoe in my pocket? Lord Flashheart
She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils. -Lord Flashheart
When I fancy people I sleep with them. Oh, I have to drug them of course, being so old and warty...
Ah HA! Got the drop on ya with MY disintergrating pistol, and brother, when it disintegrates, it DISINTEGRATES. "click -bzzzzzst"
Gee, it, a ... disintegrated... D.Dodgers
Surrender or be turned into 26, 480,002 microcells.
Schwarzenegger does Hamlet: "To be or not to be? ...Not to be."
Captain, we are receiving 250,000 hails, how shall I respond?
The best laid plans often go fowl - Wile E. Coyote
Them's big words coming from a man who could make love to a cheerio without breaking it.
A migratory bryophyte - The Black Vegetable! DG
I try, madam ...And then, 10 minutes later when I get my breath back, I try again.
Nieche Paraphrased: That which does not kill us... Hurts!
After you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is not your friend.
I procrastinate, Therefore, I will be.
When I die, I want to go quietly like my Grandfather did, in his sleep,
-not yelling and screaming like all the people in his car.
Parents used to have lots of kids, now kids have lots of parents!
The media is like the weatherman, only they write the weather. -M&M
Some people change their minds when they see the light, others only when they feel the heat!
She kept saying I didn't listen to her... or something.
I put instant cocoa in my microwave oven and almost went backwards in time.
Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it!
"There are two things you must know about The Wise Woman. First, she is a WOMAN! And second, she is..."
"Oh, do you know her then?"
"No, just a wild stab in the dark, which incidentally is what you're going to get if you don't become more helpful!" - Black Adder
"You have failed me for the last time Admiral..." D.Vader
Put your tongue back in your mouth.
Never play "Leap Frog" with a unicorn.
Bumper Sticker in NYC: "Horn Broke, Watch For Finger"
I parked my Hard Disk, and got a ticket!
Look at the poor snake. Doesn't have a pit to hiss in...
Morituri non cognant! (Those about to die, don't know.)
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but so would an 80lb carrot.
I live in another dimension, but I have a summer home in Reality.
You can lead a horse to water, but you'd better be stong and determined if you're gonna drown the sucker!
What was I thinking when I moved to Alaska last winter to host "Movies 'til dawn"?!
I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add! -S.W.
RAM: Rarely Available Memory
It could be you... It's a "sky blue" sky... The satellites are out tonight... Laurie Anderson
I never make typing miskates!
Never go on adventure without your hat! - I. Jones
Armed, Dangerous, and off my medication!
You're beaming me WHERE?!
Anywhere is within walking distance if you have the time... -S. Wright
Genocide is the only TRUE form of environmentalism
"Blessings be upon your camel and may your penguins always bear fruit."
If I didn't know, Why the Roses Grow,
Then I wouldn't Know, Why the Roses grow. - Ink Spots
"I refuse to prove I exist", says GOD, "For proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing"
"But", says Man, "The babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It proves you exist and so therefore, you don't Q.E.D."
"Oh dear", says GOD, "I hadn't thought of that", and promptly vanishes into a puff of logic.
"Oh that was easy", says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white, and gets killed on the next zebra crossing. -Hitchhiker's Guide
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. -Princess Bride
Tell me again how you don't ever want children... -R.C.
Don't like what's on TV? Then turn it off!
Where are we going? -Bones
Where they went. -Kirk
But suppose they went "nowhere"? -Bones
Well, then this'll be your big chance to get away from it all. -Kirk
Microbes are live, so breathing is murder.
Would part-time band leaders be "Semi-conductors"?
He does the work of three men. (Moe, Larry, and Curly)
It's my privelage to defend your right to be wrong.
DANGER: HUMAN OPERATING KEYBOARD!!!
Inconsistant, multiple, independent variables.
"So much for the 'little training cruise'..." - Sulu
Don't call him "Evil", he's "Ethically challenged". -DG
"This could be made into a monster, if we all pull together as a team." - Pink Floyd
Sex is like air, you only becomes important when you're not getting any. -P. Farmer
Your Test Tube wears Army boots!
Let go of my ears, I know what I'm doing!
Math Illiteracy affects 8 out of 5 people.
Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a SysOp outta my hat!
... Good will and artillery will get you more than just good will.
"Cut life support to all quarters with children" - Picard ůmaybe
"All the darkness in the universe cannot extinguish the light of a single candle!"
Click - click, click - click ...Damn, out of taglines!
BORGNET - We do it our way. Your way is irrelevant.
"Department of redundancy department, MiMi speaking..."
You know what a cautious fellow I am. -Indy
Didn't want to stir up old pots.....
May you be violated unpleasantly.
Mixed emotions: Mother-in-law drives off cliff in your new Mercedes.
Beware of geeks bearing GIFs =>
Celibacy is never hereditary
An optimist cannot be pleasantly surprised.
"Computer, you and I need to have a little talk..."
Bill Clinton: The EDLIN of Presidents.
I'm not real smart, but I can lift heavy things.
Are you Klingon, or is that a turtle on your head?
Too many pages make a tome.
Did you know that 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary?
Worf aims at the Ice Princess, sets his phaser on defrost
You're one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Wrappers are futile. Chocolate will be assimilated.
LOOK DAVE, I CAN SEE YOU'RE REALLY UPSET ABOUT THIS.
Stupidity is not a handicap, so park elsewhere.
"Reality is a function of perception."
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.